Journal Entry: 16 November 2017

A bald eagle faces away from the camera, sits high in a leafless tree in late winter
Bald eagle keeps her eyes on the prize unlike me

So this morning, I futzed around on my phone, looking at things to buy from Amazon. Ugh, I hate when I do that! My plan was to write in this journal when I got up, have some tea, and start my day. I want to get plants for the fish tank because I think the fish need live plants plus I think it would look nice. So I just thought I’d spend a few minutes looking at Amazon.

Wrongo! What did I end up with? Tea. Yes, I know I needed to order some soon since it takes a month to get here from the UK. That’s not the point.

I WASTED an hour looking at stuff on Amazon. Now I’m in a time pinch because it is really past time I got ready to walk Polly. She suffers because of my bad habits.

So enough wasting time talking about wasting time.

Today as I was dressing for the day, I was thinking about the things I could write about in a blog. They’re ideas of things around me, in my thoughts, inspired by others, that may hold some truths – spiritual truths – that I could “think aloud” about and try to let the universe and all the helpful spirits speak through me. I have an exaggerated need to be prepared before taking action so that I don’t fail, and so I have to think through exactly how this blog thing might work.

But I cannot continue to fear failure. Probably why C and I are good together, that is, she’s good for me – she doesn’t have the exaggerated fears that I do and that helps me calm down. She’s more of a “just do it” kind of person.

So here are some ideas I have (for blog stories):
“Death of a Dog” – The poor Chow-Chow that was given up and abandoned by its owner. It was later running free and eventually was hit by a train here in town. It affected me, and still affects me, deeply. I don’t know why.
“Being an ‘Other'” – nerd, geek, dork…. labels, labels, labels. And wanting but not wanting to be like everyone else. From my body shape and size to my way of seeing the world.
“Where are the environmentalists who believe in reincarnation?” – If we live life upon life, why aren’t we making the world/planet better for everyone. Including our future selves!
“Solstice” – what it means for women, for my tribe, what is the tribal ritual and how are we making the world better by being part of it in this way?
“Are we headed into a really scary time in our history?” – Oh please, please, please take away the power of launching nukes from the US president alone. Think Dr. Strangelove. Just sayin’.
“I like winter” – now there’s a topic to do a before and after piece on, like in December and then again in February or March, when we are most sick of it all.

So there. A few ideas to keep me going. Keep me thinking. I just need to do it! I do need to define for myself what a spiritual truth is. [Or do I really need to?] Maybe that’s what is taken care of when I let the universe do the talking. Let my fingers do the walking, let the universe do the talking. hee hee!

Oh, also, using words that have been usurped by christianity makes me feel…weird… I don’t like it that “they” are the only ones to own “soul” and “spirit” and “blessings.” That’s another topic but one I want to think about before carrying it out in public.

Blessings! Susan

End of entry